A Different Kind of Mama

It’s good to be back in this space. A space I so value because it’s my very own. My own words and my own thoughts. See, that’s been the problem these past few months. Since our second daughter has been born I haven’t really had my own anything. Space, time, thoughts, feelings, they all seemed…

I Think It’s Okay?

When you’re a mom to a small child, you often hear the words “Enjoy these moments, they fly by” or something along those lines. Those moments an acquaintance or stranger asks you how you’re doing, as you stand there holding that drooling baby on your hip, swaying the sway you don’t even realize you do…

The Hard T R U T H

A mother/daughter relationship is a tough one, right? I look at a lot of relationships I have with other women and I see their relationships with their mothers. It’s a half and half when it comes to a good relationship versus a bad relationship. A mother/daughter relationship can be so close that daughters can’t bear…

For Better Or Worse

When I said “for better or for worse” nearly 5 years ago, I meant it. But in all honesty, I’m not sure what I thought “for better or for worse” was going to look like in our marriage. Job changes, financial difficulties, arguments over household chores, parenting differences. Sure, I considered and expected things like…

Survival Mode

Everything felt “off”. The way I woke up—instantly crabby, hungry, done with the brand new day. The way I went to sleep—no rhythm, no rhyme to the evening, just everyone go to bed so I can have some PEACE! The way I moved through the day—frantically keeping schedules, juggling needs and appointments. It was all…

Becoming Us

Derek, We met when I was just 17. We started building a life together. We became each other’s best friend, cheerleader, guidance counselor, and shelter from the storm. We laughed together, cried together, and stood up in front of all the people who matter to us and vowed to stay together until one of us…

One Day When You’re Bigger

Sometimes I find myself treating your littleness like a burden. It happens when I’m doing the dishes and you won’t stop crying or when you won’t nap without being held. The thoughts that cause me to wish you were just a tad bit older creep in when I’m cleaning up yet another mess, struggling to…

I’ve Awakened

My eyes opened as I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder and I heard the nurse’s urgent words: It’s time. Time to push. Time to become a family of three. Time to meet my daughter. —————————————————————————————————————————————- Alice arrived just four days before her due date, on a frozen February night. A night when Minnesota had…

Sick Of It

There is a drawing of a tree on the whiteboard in our break room at work. Next to the board are some cut outs of “leaves” and it’s asking us to write down what we are thankful for and place the leaf on the tree. I thought about this and of course I am thankful…

Fixer Upper

The other night it was well after midnight before my husband and I finally collapsed into bed. I was exhausted, but my mind was in overdrive, racing a mile a minute after a frustrating and busy day. So, I did what every wife shouldn’t do. I unloaded on my husband. At midnight. I told him…

My Wish For Fellow Mamas

Dear fellow mama, Maybe you know me well or maybe you barely know me at all. Maybe we were once close but have since drifted apart. Maybe we’re the best of friends. Or, maybe we’ve never met. This will be the case for most of you. Whatever our story is, I want you to know that…

Thank You, Toxic Mother.

Think. Type. Delete. Think. Type. Delete. Sweat profusely. Think. Type. And delete… again. This has been going on for hours. No scratch that. For days. I’m trying to make the words and thoughts in my head magically appear on this screen and be meaningful, but every time I try it all gets jumbled into a sad mess….

Our Hero

Sometimes it’s easy to overlook this amazing work we are doing. On the surface, our lives couldn’t be less extraordinary. We work our jobs, we care for our daughter, and we embody a simple life. Though, don’t get me wrong, we love every second of it. But especially when I think about the work you…

A Mother To A Daughter

Dear Alice, I always wanted a daughter. I ached and longed and prayed and cried for you. Every wish I had paled in comparison to the dreams of you. And then you came. You came quickly like a tornado on a wild night that I will remember for the rest of my life. What I felt for you was…

Our Good Old Days

It’s a dreary and cold October evening. I’m in my (under construction) kitchen, doing dishes, getting my daughter’s bottles ready for daycare, and packing mine and my husband’s lunches for work. I haven’t even gotten around to thinking of what we could make for dinner. It’s already past 7:00. My daughter is in her highchair snacking…

He Waited

I blame the Target baby section. It gets me every time. Those tiny little sleepers with adorable animals on the feet or (be still my ovaries) on the butt. I try avoiding the section completely but even a tiny glimpse from aisles away and I am consumed with longing. Then, as if Target wasn’t bad enough,…

Authentically Ours

When I was younger, I used to love looking over our family’s photos. My mom had an entire shelf dedicated to her photo album sets that opened up like books and had rows of prints contained in plastic coverings you would flip up to view each one. It was one of my favorite pastimes to…

Comparison Is A Thief

A while back, my husband and I were on a date, nothing fancy and nothing frilly. But as we were headed back home, we noticed this long line of cars stopped ahead of us, at a complete standstill. We see cop cars and flashing lights, but we can’t figure out why everything is so backed up….

This Life We’ve Built

It’s been roughly five years of marriage. Why did that seem to fly by so fast? Sometimes I still feel like the girl with the crush on the football player in high school. The girl on the boy’s hockey team whose boyfriend would come cheer her on at every game. The girl that couldn’t stand…

I Am With You

My loving husband, Yes, you. I see you. The tired, worn out you. I know lately things have been a little tense in our home. We are struggling to find coordination in our everyday life with so much going on right now. Between remodeling the house, trying to sell the house, studying for school and…

I Can’t Do This.

There may be days when you think, I can’t do this. Days when you don’t feel good enough, when you look around and feel inferior to every other parent on the planet. Times, maybe, when you feel like a failure, when your eyes search your baby’s face desperately for approval but none is forthcoming. There…

The Inevitable Question

“You can sit up now.” I shimmy my body upright and lay eyes on my sleeping bundle in her car seat by the window. I pull the gown tight around my new postpartum body, soft and full, a version of who I once was, a version of who I will be: a temporary state. “Everything…

It’s Okay To Miss Your Freedom (And Sleep)

Hey you, The mama who is overwhelmed. The mama who is tired. The mama who needs a hug. It’s okay. It’s all going to be okay. I’ve been thinking about this lately… motherhood is a catch-22. Some days your kids wake up at 5:00 a.m. and you’re not sure how you’re going to survive the…

I’m Okay With Sacrifice

It hit me today, as I sat on the dock at the lake nursing my daughter, that motherhood has really changed my life. I knew this already, of course. But as I sat there on a beautiful summer day watching my friends lounge in the lake with such a carefree manner, I realized how little…

Love Should Set You Free

For my daughter, I have loved your father for over a decade. At the age of 28, these years are a good portion of my existence. We were so young when our lives first intertwined. Our story began in the classrooms of Freeport Senior High and I can’t help but to believe that’s where your…

You Are A Good Mama

I often do my thinking when I’m driving. It’s when things just come to me sometimes like a bolt of lightning and sometimes like a soft whispering voice. It’s when I pray the hardest and most intently for certain things. It’s when I praise the most. It’s when I come to understand a new outlook….

Motherhood Made Me Stronger

Motherhood truly is an amazing journey, and I am completely in awe of how it has changed me. I’m not talking how motherhood made me physically stronger, because let’s be honest, my numbers at the gym have gone done. But we’ll get back there. No, I’m talking about how it’s made me more social, given me the confidence…

It Won’t Always Be Like This

Hey Sweet Face, It won’t always be like this. Our lives will not always feel like we’re rushing, like we’re perpetually late, like we’re always playing catch up. Life will not always be this ‘raising a baby’ level of chaos. We won’t always have a mountain of laundry to power through and tackle on the…

You Don’t Have Anything To Prove

Hey there first time mama, You’re going to make mistakes. It’s inevitable and believe it or not, it’s a good thing. This is how we grow as new mamas. Get stronger. Do better. Learn to ALWAYS keep a spare baby outfit or two in that diaper bag. But the one mistake I hope you can…

Going Since 2008

How do you possibly explain that being young and in love does not in any way diminish the quality of that love? The feelings I felt for my husband when I was 17 may have dulled in excitement, but not in passion. If anything, that has only grown. This past March, we celebrated ten years…

To The Struggling Mama

Hi sweet mama, I get it. I see you comparing yourself to other moms on social media. Their seemingly “perfect” lives, “perfect” kids, “perfect” spouses, “perfect” families, “perfect” HGTV homes, “perfect” bodies. It’s overwhelming to suddenly find yourself comparing every aspect of your life, your body and your soul to a stranger’s. That would be…

And Yet….

You’re tired again, aren’t you? I know. I am, too. My little one is finally tucked away in bed, for a few hours at least, and I already feel the weariness of tomorrow creeping over me like a heavy sigh. It’s just so much, having this little one rely on me for her every need, day…

It’s These Moments

Dear husband, Being a new mom is hard, but I know being a new dad is hard too and it doesn’t get nearly the same attention or empathy. I want you to know that I see everything you do for us, and it makes my world brighter. Though you may not see me watching and…

It’s Better Than I Could Have Ever Imagined

It was 3 am when I heard it. It was faint at first. Her little whimpers began to lull me out of a deep sleep. I tried to pretend I was dreaming and that the baby I just rocked to sleep a few hours ago wasn’t already hungry again. But as the whimpers turned into full-on…

I Miss You Already

I sifted through your bin today. The bin I put all of the clothes in that no longer fit you. Stashed in your room, I found your hospital bracelet from the day you were born. I placed it in my palm and circled it back together. I held it in the place where the nurse…

Twenty Something Motherhood

I was 26 when I got pregnant and was 27 when I had my daughter. But I like to think that I am still a baby myself. And even though I only have four months of parenting experience under my belt, I feel like these four months have taught me so much. That’s motherhood for you. I’ve learned…

Imperfect Happiness

Husband, I’m so happy. With you, with our daughter, with our lives. I wanted to take a second out of the beautiful mess that is our lives and acknowledge that. Things aren’t perfect, but they never will be someone else’s definition of perfect, will they? Maybe perfection isn’t what we’re chasing anyway. Maybe it’s happiness….

Instead I Had A Daughter

Do you ever catch sight of a woman who looks like you… but before you had a baby? She’s rushing somewhere to work. (She’s very important.) Or she’s lounging at brunch with her besties, without a care in the world. She might have kids someday, but her mind cannot fathom what becoming a mother will…

Dear Derek: When I Forget To See You

Dear Derek, The last few months have been, for lack of a better word, chaotic. We’re parents now. Everything has changed. During my pregnancy I was told by numerous amounts of people that our marriage would change. We as Kiersten and Derek, would change. I didn’t believe them. I told myself I would not let…

I’m Exactly Where I’m Supposed To Be

Two are better than one; They help each other succeed. For if they fall, their companion can lift them up. -Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 As you all know by now, I’m the wife of an incredible, handsome man. Some may not agree with the adjectives that I choose to describe my husband, but that’s just it, isn’t…