It’s good to be back in this space. A space I so value because it’s my very own. My own words and my own thoughts. See, that’s been the problem these past few months. Since our second daughter has been born I haven’t really had my own anything. Space, time, thoughts, feelings, they all seemed…
Tag: Daughter
I Think It’s Okay?
When you’re a mom to a small child, you often hear the words “Enjoy these moments, they fly by” or something along those lines. Those moments an acquaintance or stranger asks you how you’re doing, as you stand there holding that drooling baby on your hip, swaying the sway you don’t even realize you do…
The Hard T R U T H
A mother/daughter relationship is a tough one, right? I look at a lot of relationships I have with other women and I see their relationships with their mothers. It’s a half and half when it comes to a good relationship versus a bad relationship. A mother/daughter relationship can be so close that daughters can’t bear…
Seasons of Motherhood
Here in Indiana we’re used to new seasons. I think we’re really lucky because we get to experience all four of them. We get to drive down back roads with snow covered trees overhead. We get to smell the fresh rains and new flowers of spring seeing the dead of winter sprout signs of life….
W r e c k e d
Motherhood is hard. We’ve heard it a thousand times in a thousand ways. We joke that we don’t have time to think, that we have to drink cold coffee (pro tip, just start with cold coffee, you’ll be less disappointed), and that we haven’t slept in years. We joke that our lives are chaos, that…
It’s Going To Be Okay
Hey, are you okay? He asked as he scooted in closer behind me. I felt the warmth of his chest against my bare back as my brain scrambled to formulate some kind of answer. No. I whimpered softly as tears started to well up in my eyes. I could tell, he said gently. You seem…
Raising Daughters
Having a daughter has been one of the most joy filled experiences in my life. There is no doubt that a mother-daughter bond is special. But as a mama, there is great responsibility that comes from the relationship with your daughter. If you have more than one child, you know that each child has needs…
Tonight I Nursed You For The Last Time
No one will tell you how emotional breastfeeding can actually be. I’m angry. I’m sad. I’m torn. I feel on edge and my anxiety is at an all time high. I’ve been walking around the last few days with cabbage leaves in my bra, drinking peppermint tea like it’s going out of style and trying…
I’ve Awakened
My eyes opened as I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder and I heard the nurse’s urgent words: It’s time. Time to push. Time to become a family of three. Time to meet my daughter. —————————————————————————————————————————————- Alice arrived just four days before her due date, on a frozen February night. A night when Minnesota had…
If Time Could Be A Little Kinder
Nothing compares to the magic of a newborn. After months of anticipation, you finally get to meet your little one. You gush over their every move and adore all of their perfect little features. You get to feel your heart flutter as they stretch and yawn. You’re absolutely sure it’s the cutest thing that has…
I Think It’s Time
It was faint and sweet at first. I thought it was part of the dream I was having but it slowly lulled me out of a deep sleep. My daughter was awake. I slowly raised my wrist to see the time on my FitBit. 3:32 a.m. Well, at least she slept for over six hours straight….
A Mother To A Daughter
Dear Alice, I always wanted a daughter. I ached and longed and prayed and cried for you. Every wish I had paled in comparison to the dreams of you. And then you came. You came quickly like a tornado on a wild night that I will remember for the rest of my life. What I felt for you was…
Our Good Old Days
It’s a dreary and cold October evening. I’m in my (under construction) kitchen, doing dishes, getting my daughter’s bottles ready for daycare, and packing mine and my husband’s lunches for work. I haven’t even gotten around to thinking of what we could make for dinner. It’s already past 7:00. My daughter is in her highchair snacking…
The Title of Mama
“Baby Alice’s mom!” That’s what the other children at my daughters daycare refer to me as. It lit up a beautiful grin on my face when I heard them say it as I walked through the door this morning. It resonated through my ears like sweet music. As the little girls from the Pre-K class swarmed…
Alice, This Matters
To my daughter, I will beg you to fall in love with yourself, first. This matters. And I do not mean a tolerant, conditional, praise-yourself-when-you-look-good kind of love. I mean deeply-rooted, white hot, irrevocable, laugh-at-yourself love. On the day my daughter looks up at me, with her innocence still intact, and asks if she is…
I’m Okay With Sacrifice
It hit me today, as I sat on the dock at the lake nursing my daughter, that motherhood has really changed my life. I knew this already, of course. But as I sat there on a beautiful summer day watching my friends lounge in the lake with such a carefree manner, I realized how little…
Love Should Set You Free
For my daughter, I have loved your father for over a decade. At the age of 28, these years are a good portion of my existence. We were so young when our lives first intertwined. Our story began in the classrooms of Freeport Senior High and I can’t help but to believe that’s where your…
You Are A Good Mama
I often do my thinking when I’m driving. It’s when things just come to me sometimes like a bolt of lightning and sometimes like a soft whispering voice. It’s when I pray the hardest and most intently for certain things. It’s when I praise the most. It’s when I come to understand a new outlook….
Motherhood Made Me Stronger
Motherhood truly is an amazing journey, and I am completely in awe of how it has changed me. I’m not talking how motherhood made me physically stronger, because let’s be honest, my numbers at the gym have gone done. But we’ll get back there. No, I’m talking about how it’s made me more social, given me the confidence…
It Won’t Always Be Like This
Hey Sweet Face, It won’t always be like this. Our lives will not always feel like we’re rushing, like we’re perpetually late, like we’re always playing catch up. Life will not always be this ‘raising a baby’ level of chaos. We won’t always have a mountain of laundry to power through and tackle on the…
And Yet….
You’re tired again, aren’t you? I know. I am, too. My little one is finally tucked away in bed, for a few hours at least, and I already feel the weariness of tomorrow creeping over me like a heavy sigh. It’s just so much, having this little one rely on me for her every need, day…
It’s These Moments
Dear husband, Being a new mom is hard, but I know being a new dad is hard too and it doesn’t get nearly the same attention or empathy. I want you to know that I see everything you do for us, and it makes my world brighter. Though you may not see me watching and…
It’s Better Than I Could Have Ever Imagined
It was 3 am when I heard it. It was faint at first. Her little whimpers began to lull me out of a deep sleep. I tried to pretend I was dreaming and that the baby I just rocked to sleep a few hours ago wasn’t already hungry again. But as the whimpers turned into full-on…
I Miss You Already
I sifted through your bin today. The bin I put all of the clothes in that no longer fit you. Stashed in your room, I found your hospital bracelet from the day you were born. I placed it in my palm and circled it back together. I held it in the place where the nurse…
Twenty Something Motherhood
I was 26 when I got pregnant and was 27 when I had my daughter. But I like to think that I am still a baby myself. And even though I only have four months of parenting experience under my belt, I feel like these four months have taught me so much. That’s motherhood for you. I’ve learned…
Imperfect Happiness
Husband, I’m so happy. With you, with our daughter, with our lives. I wanted to take a second out of the beautiful mess that is our lives and acknowledge that. Things aren’t perfect, but they never will be someone else’s definition of perfect, will they? Maybe perfection isn’t what we’re chasing anyway. Maybe it’s happiness….
Instead I Had A Daughter
Do you ever catch sight of a woman who looks like you… but before you had a baby? She’s rushing somewhere to work. (She’s very important.) Or she’s lounging at brunch with her besties, without a care in the world. She might have kids someday, but her mind cannot fathom what becoming a mother will…
What They Didn’t Tell Me
My beautiful daughter, Here is what they didn’t tell me: When they placed you, a beautiful tiny newborn grasping for me, in my outstretched arms, everything changed. And not in all the ways I originally thought. There would be days of exhaustion and desperation. There would days that would leave me gasping for air and…
C a f f e i n a t e d + K i l o s 
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